Instagram Live Battles

VS.

There have been few things I have truly enjoyed about this pandemic, quarentin-ing, stay-at-home thing.

What I have found most enlightening and joyous has been these Instagram Live Battles between artists and when my favorite artist goes “Live”.

Now I have missed quite a few of these major ones like the first and second attempts at going IG Live from Babyface and Teddy Riley.

I heard it was a complete mess anyways.

Although this wasn’t on Instagram…I didn’t see the first $1 concert from Erykah Badu, one of my all time favorite artists EVER, but I did catch the next live $2 Sunday Concert. I felt like this was so clever to charge on her own website. Also, I loved how it wasn’t a traditional concert and she gave the option to switch up the flow and go to different rooms in her house that each provided a different vibe.

Other people who I’ve caught on Live are DJ’s, D-Nice and Kansas City’s own and fellow Center High graduate DJ Q and our radio station Hot 103.3 radio personality Brian B Shynin’.

I am however anxiously awaiting for this Saturdays upcoming IG Live Battle between another one of my favorite artists Jill Scott and Erykah Badu!

Now on this one, I have done some heavy contemplation and I mean this is a difficult one.

Both are considered neo-soul artists of which I was both introduced to around the same time, back in middle school/high school. I’ve seen both in concert and have all their albums, but I won’t say who I think would win because that’s just hard because they are both phenomenal artists who I love both, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Have you caught any of your favorites on Instagram Live during this pandemic? Who was your favorite?

Until next time…

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Quarantine Blues Part 2

Quarantine Blues (1)

 

 

I have no idea what week were on of this Stay-at-Home order/Quarantine. I lost track days ago.

Here in Kansas City, Missouri I think it’s supposed to end May 15th. But, for me I don’t see an end in the near future. For those of us “immune compromised” folk, really I feel like it’s best to stay inside most of the time or as much as possible.

I’ve been to the post office and gas station this week, as far as getting out the house goes. This took weeks for me to do and honestly every time I go out, a little fear touches my soul.

Before this week I had only been to ride in the car places, like to pick up food at a restaurant or with my husband to the grocery store. I saw a few people at the gas station wearing masks, but really it seemed that everyone else except the clerks didn’t have masks on.

I was surprised.

My son who is six years old, is getting really antsy most days. Especially on days where it’s been too cool to go outside. Thankfully this week it’s been nice weather. It’s challenging as well to help him with school work and accomplish my work at the same time. He actually told me he missed going to REAL school. He got to talk to a few of his classmates on video chat and see his teacher as well, which he enjoyed immensely. But it isn’t the same as seeing your friends and playing with them.

This whole thing seems very weird for most and it is for me, but only to some extent. Let me explain…

I always tried to utilize what they now are calling “social distancing”. When someone would be in line at the grocery store or other places (especially when I became a mom with a small infant) I always felt like it was necessary not to be all up on people in line. People to me never had appropriate boundaries. Just my opinion.

Being the introvert that I am, minimal social interaction is just fine with me.

I miss my weekly excursions to the thrift store, my parents visiting and seeing my baby boy’s face light up when I picked him up from school.

 

Nicole Alicia sig

 

 

Losing “Z”

Losing _Z_

 

 

Last week was rough.

We had our first foster child leave. It was super sudden and very abrupt.

We had been fostering this little guy since he was 3 months old, since last July.  He was our very first call. When we got the call it was the middle of the night. They give you very little details. They tell you why they are coming into care and the age and sex of the child and ask if you’re willing to take them in.

We had signed up to take newborn to 4 years old. Was I excited our first call was a baby?

Yep!

We got to watch this little guy grow from being so tiny, to walking and getting into everything. He had developed quite a feisty attitude, to which we had grown accustomed to love.

Baby “Z” had these adorable piercing blue eyes that made is turn to mush.

Although we were led to believe that he might not ever be “reunified” with his family, they ended up finding a distant relative to take him in.

After 9 months of being “mom” to two boys, it’s odd now in a way going back to being mom to just 1 child after 9 months.

Needless to say my husband, my son and I were sad to see him go. I never expected for our entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents) to become so attached to this kid.

We learned so many lessons being first time foster parents, but that’s a post for another time.

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

Quarantine Blues

Quarantine Blues

 

Wow!

I haven’t posted in awhile…

Life has been quite a roller coaster, to put it lightly.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I had been diagnosed with Kidney Disease back in 2016. Well, back in 2018 I was at about 25% function.

They had advised that I eliminate salt and lower protein intake which I had been adhering to. However this diet, caused me to start loosing weight. For most this isn’t a problem. But for me since I was, and have always been a smaller woman it started to become a problem.

Then my Kidney function at the beginning of 2019 just started on a downward spiral. Regardless of this diet that was supposed help preserve my Kidney function, it just wasn’t helping at all.

In the Fall of 2019, I was told that I needed to start seeing about a transplant. I was at about 12% Kidney function and that I was headed toward Dialysis.

Now this word “Dialysis” has always scared me. I was so sad and angry! Why was this happening to me?

Most people ask, “How did you get to this point? Like, what caused this?”

I ask the same question. Dr’s have never been able to come to a definitive conclusion. Often times it’s Diabetes that causes Kidney Disease, but I don’t have that thankfully. Sometimes it can be an autoimmune disorder like Lupus. But I don’t have that either.

But long story short, I did have to start Dialysis in February of this year.

This Corona Virus has definitely been something scarier to deal with since I am considered, “Immunocompromised“.

I was having to be cautious anyway just in everyday life, now I’m having to use extra special caution especially since my husband works at a hospital.

I will be glad when this over!

I am by nature an introvert, but my goodness…being in the house with an almost 1-year old and 6-year old all day can wear a nerve sis.

I do pray all of my readers out there are safe and doing well at home.

Are y’all coping ok during the quarantine? If you have any tips about how to get through this, let me know in the comments.

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

Upcoming Works: The Fall 2019 Edition

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Hey what’s going on?

It’s me again, Nicole Alicia coming to you from my living room, writing this blog this afternoon. I am trying to squeeze in a little post before I have to rush off to do my hair (so I don’t look to crazy for my friends baby shower tomorrow) and before I have to run and get my kids from daycare/school.

I just wanted to do a quick post about what I’m working on. Maybe for verification to myself that I am actually “getting back to the writing” as I say, and partially to update you, my lovely readers who continue to hang in there with me and read my ish (I really appreciate you ALL).

I had this idea come to me over a year and half ago that I started working on, but I got stuck and then health problems slipped in, making the decision to grow our family through fostering, life and yada yada yada.

I’m obsessed with vintage culture as many of you know I have two vintage shops online because of my obsession Dear Alice Co. and Blu-83 Vintage.,<———SHAMELESS PLUG 🙂

Because If I decided to keep all the cool stuff I find, my husband will kick me out LOL 🙂 Just joking, but I do have a slight vintage collecting problem, so I thought why not share, and sell some of the stuff I find right?

But in addition to the whole “vintage thing”, I love black history.

I love hearing stories from the elders on how life used to be or how things were when they were young. I also started researching my families ancestry Summer of 2018. Now on my mother’s mother’s side my Grandma Alice, there’s a lot of mystery and also not that many elders left to get information from, but it was interesting what I found out.

Also surrounding that, I specifically love hearing about Kansas City and how it was “back in the day”.

kcvintage

So, I decided to run with these two topics and began to write what is most of our grandparents story. How during the “Great Migration” if you will, during the late 1930’s and 40’s our Great-Grandparents and Grandparents  came from the South to the “Big City” to start a life.

I don’t of course want to give it all away, but I think you get where I’m going.

P.S. This will be a novel….not sure if it will be my second or third 😉

A lot of the time, we don’t want to look back. But if you look close enough you can see that really like the Bible and my Daddy say, “There’s nothing new under the sun”.

Until next time….

Nicole Alicia sig

Becoming Foster Mom

Today I am writing to you a little under the weather…

The hard part about being a mom is you rarely get days off. Like both of the kids are sick right now, and I am too. My husband had to go to work today, so guess who’s left to care for the kids?

Yep, you guessed it…ME!

I have been trying to get back to blogging… again.

This Summer has been interesting, to say the least. I’ll be updating you guys on some of the stuff I’ve been struggling with and some of the good things that happened this Summer.

My plate has been FULL and there’s so much to share.

But let’s jump into the topic for today…

My Husband and I decided earlier this year that we wanted to definitely go ahead and do the training and get licensed to be a Foster Family. So finally in July, we got a call for a baby boy who was 3 months old. We had signed up to foster newborns thru 4 years old, so this was perfect.

We got the call at midnight literally and I think I had just fallen asleep good. We had tried to be prepared up until this point with clothing and such, but my husband had to run to Walmart for diapers and formula.

They said they would be there to drop off baby boy in about an hour and a half. We had alot of clothing still from our son, crib, bassinet, toys, bouncer, play pen and swing. So we pulled all of what we had been storing, out of our attic frantically awaiting for his arrival.

When he arrived, he was just in a diaper strapped in a car seat. They had a hospital bag of things they tried to gather up at DCFS, which amounted to a couple of onesies and sample bottles of formula and a small package of diapers. The social worker had me sign papers and that was it.

So here me and this baby are sitting here looking at each other.

As a mom of a 5 year old, I almost had forgotten how small 3 month old babies are. I looked at him and he looked pretty healthy other than a rash under his neck. He gave me about 30 seconds before he began to cry.

I figured he was hungry so I fixed that sample bottle of formula and he drank that. Then 10 minutes later, baby boy starts waling again. So I give him another sample bottle of formula and he drank that.

Around 3am, we finally got him to settle down and we put him in the bassinet to sleep. I think we both slept until around 9am. Both of us had a loooonnng night. Baby boy sleeps through the night most nights, so we haven’t been tooo exhausted (thank God for my husband who gets up with Baby boy at 1am and 3am for feedings). But we have had our days!

For me going from just a 5 year old, to a 5 year old and a baby has been quite a learning experience. It’s sort of like being a new parent all of over again. Aside from becoming even busier, learning baby boy’s habits, his likes and dislikes, court dates, visitation, doctor visits things have been going amazingly well.

Although it’s been 5 years since I’ve cared for a baby full-time, it’s really neat how those motherly instinct kick in without hesitation.

Baby boy is almost 5 months and is almost crawling. We can’t believe how much he’s growing just in this short amount of time!

Becoming a Foster Mom has definitely been rewarding and yet has tugged heavily on heart strings. I am only two months in, but what an experience this has been so far.

Next time I’ll share about the day I went from 1 child to 3 kids within 24 hours,

Until then, be blessed…

“When They See Us”: From a Young Black Mother’s Prospective

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It’s taken me awhile to process, digest and write about “When They See Us” the Netflix film from director Ava Duvernay.

As a African-American mother to an African-American little boy, I have worried about his safety growing up since he was in my belly. I remember watching the Trayvon Martin case when I was pregnant with him, and feeling sick because of the outcome of the trial. I’ve witnessed time and time again the injustice of young black men in the country and it is truly horrible as a parent, as a mother to watch.

When the Central Park 5 or shall I say the “Exonerated Five”, case initially started back in April 1989, I was only 4 years old so I don’t remember it.

When I saw the trailer awhile back this year, I was intrigued on what this was about because I had never heard of this case or these young men before. However, I knew if Ms. Duvernay was shining a light on this, it must be good.

As a mother of a son, I believe was so hard to stomach because it was a matter that tugged at you heart. You really felt for these young men as soon as they were arrested and as a mother, you couldn’t help but put yourself in these boys mother’s shoes.

I only got 30 minutes into the first part and I became breathless.

At this point I, had not idea there were 3 more parts to this. I had to take a break. I felt helpless myself. Like what if my son, was detained by the police wrongfully and questioned and I had no idea about it?

They fact that these young men were randomly picked up, accused falsely, interrogated with out parental consent and charged with a crime unjustly just brought me to tears. They were so helpless, and it was such a witch hunt.

As a mom I think about when my son grows up. My husband has had conversations with me about what he was told as a young black man and so has my father. It makes me sick that someone could just snatch away these young men’s childhoods like that. The whole thing just seemed like an unimaginable nightmare, but it happened.

The fact that it took so long for justice to be served and these men had to endure six to thirteen years imprisoned is mind-boggling.

Although after the third part, my head was spinning, something told me to keep watching.

I knew there had to be some kind of justice in this. Some kind of happy ending this time. But, I know for many young men that are arrested falsely like Kalief Browder, the story doesn’t always end so happily.

Lastly, the title…”When They See Us” is so powerful. Because time and time again, it has been proven when they see a young black male, they see a threat. A Criminal. A Thug. I believe this was the perfect title for this movie.

After I watched, I told my husband “you gotta see this”. My husband, A black man, said it just hit to close to home for him. Although he has never been arrested or detained he just couldn’t find cause to watch just yet. He said it would be like, “watching a real-life horror story”. I get that babe, because it was.

Are you a mom? Did you see, “When They See Us”? What did you think? Leave a comment below.

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

The Realest Post I Ever Wrote

I'm thinking of you

Life has been a busy blur these last 8 months. My son started school last Fall, my Dad started having health issues in October leaving my parents heavily dependent on me for transportation needs. Negative comments on my shop pages almost prompted me to quit selling Vintage all together (which is something I love) and the list of negative things just goes on and on.

Through all of this, I still managed to enjoy life and stay productive though.

Honestly, writing had been on the back burner you guys. 2019 has been interesting, to say the least.

Not writing however, always hurts me. It’s been a refreshing outlet for me for so long.  When I don’t do it, t’s literally like holding my breath underwater. Either I come up for air or risk blacking out and drowning.

My husband actually reminded me last week that I had sent him a finished manuscript for a Novel that I completed way back in 2016. I had totally forgotten that I actually have finished manuscripts just waiting to be edited and published. Crazy right?

But you know when life gets hectic and messy mess, it can be stifling to ones creativity.

Being a writer is hard!

Sometimes the ideas don’t flow like water out of the faucet. Sometimes you don’t write everyday. Heck, in my case sometimes you don’t write for weeks!

Writing does require a certain amount of focus.

Focus is what I have severely lacked due to all this other stuff going on in life.

It’s time for me to stop holding my breath though. Nobody wants to feel like they’re drowning in life itself.

I am hoping with the Summer months coming up I can get back to it. With me not having to utilize every moment of my 6 hours that I usually have from the time I dropped off Jr. at school, to the time I picked him up to actually relax and get some writing in.

Are you guys excited about Summer? I am for other reasons as well. I’ll share some next post.

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

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