Surviving The Holidays: A How-To For The Anti-Social

Surviving The Holidays_ A How-To For The Anti-Social

Thanksgiving is Thursday!!!

For a lot of you this is maybe your favorite time of the year.

For some us of us, ehhhh not so much!

Let’s face it the holidays are a wonderful time, but it can also be very awkward and uncomfortable for us introverts and anti-social ladies out there.

There’s  family functions, family get together, parties and such. If you’re like me, maybe the thought of all the holiday events, present buying and cooking isn’t so energizing to you.

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You may not necessarily like or get along with certain family members. Maybe this is the one time of the year you dread having to be around family members, because of those daunting questions of “When are you getting married? Who are dating now?” Or my favorite, “When are you guys having kids or more kids?”

But, it’s the holiday’s and the holiday’s are supposed to be about family. Since many times were forced to go to these functions, I have a couple of tips to help:

Make an attempt to say “Hi” to everyone. Don’t be rude. It may be a bit of stretch, seeing that you probably don’t want to be there, but at least try to be cordial before you dip out.

Bring some sort of technology. A tablet, a phone an e-reader. This is probably an obvious one. But DON’T FORGET YOUR CHARGER. Depending on how long you’re gonna be stuck there, you don’t want to run out of battery or you’ll be forced to watch that boring football game with Uncle Joe or be subjected to either advice you don’t care to hear from your half drunk Aunt.

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Wi-fi may not be available. Grandma may not even know “what the code to the Wi-Fi” is. Heck she may not even have Wi-Fi (Bless you if this the situation). Keep in mind if you have Netflix, you can download your favorite shows to your device and watch them with out having to be on the internet!

Find a space to chill out at. Maybe it’s a corner, a particular chair or a TV room no one uses. Sometimes with a house full of noisy people and just noise period, it can be unnerving. I like to escape to the basement when I go to my family’s house…my cousin’s are usually down there, but it’s fairly quiet.`1

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Prep the night before. Try to get enough rest the night before an event. Pack those headphones! Don’t forget your charger.

Plan an event that is energizing after the main family function. Maybe you have a couple of cousins you only see once or twice a year. Go do some shopping, go to breakfast or catch a movie. Make it something you’ll look forward to.

Take sometime to be by yourself. For most introverts, social events are very draining. We aren’t energized by social events at all. It’s OK. Take some time to do something for yourself the next day or that week if possible. Sit down, enjoy a cup of coffee or hot cocoa, finish reading that book. Do some online shopping (because we avoid crowded stores don’t we?). Do what is needed to recharge your batteries so you don’t end up totally shutting down.

Happy Thanksgiving, ladies!

-Nicole Alicia

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The Debut Novel From Nicole Alicia is HERE!

The Debut Novel From Nicole Alicia is HERE!

Wow!

So today is the day…

I finally get to let the entire whole world read my baby, that I’ve been working on for so long “Drama University”.

I already wrote a post on the backstory of how this novel came to be called “Drama University: The Backstory”.

Since today is the release day, I’d like to give you, my readers a little something to go along with the release…

Here’s the Spotify playlist that I put together of a few of my favorite songs from 2002-2006, which is the time-period the book is set in, so I hope that you enjoy the book and enjoy this playlist!

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/prettynikki02/playlist/0YlDhBgaoNMHsHcBLaPBf9

Until next time…

-Nicole Alicia

How’s Your NanoWriMo Going?

How's Your NanoWriMo Going-

Last week, I took a brief break from blogging. I was trying to hastily to figure out how to format the interior and exterior of my novel “Drama University”. (I’ll write a blog post on this soon!)

Although I have my debut novel, coming out in 7 days, YES 7 days, I decided last month with all that was going on, and all that I had on my to do list for November to go ahead and keep the party going by participating in NanoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). After all, I had been finished writing “Drama University” that is coming out this month, over 2 years ago! I felt ready to start work on a new novel!

I tried to participate in NanoWriMo I think way back in 2012, then again in 2015. But, I never tried to sincerely give it a sincere try.

This time I am!

In early October, I conceived an idea for my new novel and began formulating a plot and started an outline to which I honestly have still failed to complete. Currently, I only have a little under 2000 words toward novel #2, as of 7 days in.

Of coarse, I hope to increase this number. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, compared to all of these other writers numbers out here right now. But, it’s were I’m at.

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Sometimes you just gotta go for it!

I am!

Have you ever just said,”what the hey” and went for something!

Are you participating in NanoWriMo this month? How’s it going?

Comment below!

Friendship Is…

Friendship Is...

Hard. Interesting. Fun. Exciting. Tough.

“Friends? How many of us have them?”

A question posed by one of my favorite old school rap groups Whodini.

TLC asked, “What about your friends?”

These are such interesting questions.

But for real, there is a common theme you will see through out my debut novel Drama University. I loved school! Not all for the academics, though. I mean I was interested in certain subjects, but really school was about the social aspect for me.

I woke up excited thinking about what my friends and I were gonna do that day, when we went to play outside at daycare or at school. Later on in high school, it was really about friends. I have always been shy. I am just now realizing I am and have always been a bit socially awkward.

Social situations often make me nervous.

Even if it’s people I’ve known for years.

I’m an introvert at heart and really am just now coming out of my shell. Just a bit…

Many times in my writing, I write story lines dealing with friends or friendships among different types of characters.

Now days, as an young woman in her 30’s I find it  hard to connect sometimes.

I mean I’ve been out of school for almost 10 years and high school coming up on 16 years, I think it is. I only have one friend I have stayed in consistent contact with since middle school.

School provides a very unique setting where you’re around your peers all day long, all the time mostly. In life as an adult your not constantly surround by your friends. People have jobs and kids and a million other responsibilities and sometimes it’s just down right hard.

I love creating, dissecting and looking into my characters lives and structuring how they interact. I think it’s important to bring to the forefront the good and bad aspects of female friendships. As girls/young women I believe we often share something sacred and special.

Friendships have always been a struggle for me and I’m just now examining why in my 30’s. I have found that I am quick to cut people off and I’m working on that.

We all need that one true person to go through life with!

How do you see most friendships about girls/women written in literature today? What do you think about the portrail of friendship in novels? Do you have a favorite duo?

Comment below!

Until next time…have a blessed weekend!

-Nicole Alicia

 

Why Drama?

Why Drama-

The title of my debut novel is Drama University.

Some of the drama that the main character Melody experiences is avoidable and some isn’t.

The title of the book was actually mulled over for years.

The main character is in a few different sticky situations and has some things happen to her that were well…drama filled.

I can relate to my character Melody, I too have experienced some un-needed, probably could-have-been-avoided-in-the-first-place drama. Then there’s always that which you perhaps didn’t even see coming.

But if life were that cut and dry and we could avoid everything adverse, nothing would be worth it.

I’m not saying you don’t NEED drama in your life at all. In fact, I believe a little bit of drama or adversity builds character. But, I’m talking about that blood pressure raising, un-needed, unnecessary type of drama that just gives you a headache, girl. Do you know what I’m talking about?

I don’t know about you, but I try to avoid drama at all cost now days. You know why?

Drama spells out negative energy! I like to stay as far away from negative energy as possible.

I do this by avoiding those types of people, who are opposite of me and just really love drama. They need it. They have to have it. If they don’t, they go crazy.

Sorry not sorry, I myself am not here for it and don’t have time.

When I think of drama now days, I think of a type of TV or movie show I like to watch. I like to watch it, but I don’t want to be involved in it.

Oftentimes we can see it coming down the road and that ladies is when we probably should just get off that road and make a U-turn to go back the other direction.

What do you think about drama? Do you like it? Do you avoid it?

Comment below!

Until next time…

-Nicole Alicia

Grow From It

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It’s easy to get stuck in life.

Dating, work, parenting (if you’re there), relationships and on and on!

I’ve had some pretty crappy experiences in life.

I could have easily just threw in the towel and said forget it. From break ups, bad dating experiences, loss of friends, miscarriages, layoffs, crappy jobs.

So many bad experiences can really put a bad taste in your mouth. They can leave you bitter and just plain angry.

It’s been a rough road, but I’m still learning and growing and I’m in my 30’s.

When I say grow, I don’t mean just forget what happened and move on. I mean feel how you feel, go through the motions, be present and learn something from it.

In life we’re not supposed to ever stop growing and learning. Personal growth is a life long thing.

Most recently on Tuesday this week, rapper Gucci Mane got married. Everyone is talking about how he came out of prison looking great, made an album, got off probation and proposed to his long time girlfriend. Point of the story is that there was some type of growth that took place.

I can only speak for myself, but I know sometimes for me things that happen negative in your life seems like the end of the world. But it’s not.

When you end up getting hurt from a bad break up, instead of tattooing “I hate men” on yourself, try to reexamine.

I know most of us are like what?

It was all his fault I didn’t have anything to do with whoever. This is probably true! I agree. But what can you take away from the situation that you can use to better yourself next time? Sometimes it’s about analyzing ourselves first before pointing the finger at someone else.

Some once said, “If you know better, you do better”.

Once again it’s a practice. Not a destination, but a journey.

Until next time lovely ladies…

-Nicole Alicia

College & Stress

College & Stress

 

As an only child and the oldest cousin, I was the first to go to college. My mother stayed home and went to college and my father only went away to college for a short time. I didn’t really have anyone to give me any real advice on how to handle a lot of stuff.

So when things got difficult, I had trouble managing. I didn’t really know what exactly to do.

At one point there was just so much going on in my life. Classes were getting harder, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the fritz for like the umpteenth time. My grandmother, which I was very close to underwent heart surgery and didn’t ever recover. On top of that, things at home weren’t great either.

Plus, it was college and like I mentioned in my previous post, “College 101: Making It On Nothing” money was tight. I was a broke college student, who didn’t have much cash to work with and tuition, gas money, food, etc. was a constant worry.

To put it lightly, I was overwhelmed!

School is hard! There’s no argument there.

Be very careful with stress during these times. In college, there is a ton of easy access to drugs and alcohol. It may seem like a simple solution at the time. However, we know what adverse affect this can have on your body and your life. It’s dangerous!

Plus, it’s only a temporary fix.

I’m not sure about you, but when I’m overwhelmed all I want to do is find a way to relieve my stress. Back when I was in I was partying was my solution was drinking and smoking. Partying and drinking was a easy way to forget all of my problems. Was it the best solution? Absolutely not! (Disclaimer: Hangovers SUCK!!! Hugging a toilet and making your friends bathroom, your room for the night is NOT cute!)

Here are some alternative ways to handle college and stress:

Sometimes going home for a weekend to clear your head can help. Being around family, people who genuinely care about your well being.

Find somewhere to just go and chill and meditate. Quiet, is hard to find on a college campus. You may live in a noisy dorm or apartment where your roommate(s) are always there. Even sometimes the library can be noisy. If you can find sometime to yourself to gather your thoughts. Do it. Maybe even a local coffee shop in town? Because who doesn’t love coffee or a hot cup of cocoa in the cooler temps?

Pray. I realize everyone isn’t spiritual or religious. But, I sure wish I would have talked to God a lot more in college. I usually only talked to him when I was in trouble, to very frank. Prayer in many different religions is the center. If this is something you do, do more of it!

Keep a journal. Even in college, while I was super busy and really didn’t want to write by hand because I had been doing it all day in class taking notes…I used to keep a little journal. I still have it to this day. It really only has a few pages with a sentence or a small paragraph of writing of my feelings, but it was helpful. Even just jotting down something small as to how your feeling can be a way to blow off some steam. I believe journaling can be very therapeutic!

Talk to someone. If at all possible talk to someone outside of your circle. If you feel like you need help, it’s there. Don’t be ashamed! Many universities have counselors on campus, who are willing and waiting to listen and try to offer some solutions.

Lastly, I want you to remember that this thing with studying and all the other pressures of college are temporary! Try to focus on the big picture, which is graduating and getting that degree girl!!!

If you’re in college currently, away or at home. How do you manage stress?

Comment below!

Until next time ladies…

-Nicole Alicia

Be Happy With Yourself First

 

Be Happy With Yourself First

I am odd. I love reading books and writing. I’d rather sit at home and read, than go out most of the time. I enjoy being alone sometimes. I am socially awkward. I rarely speak in social settings, because I am in deep thought or analyzing a situation. I am very slim and that hasn’t changed and I’m almost certain it won’t ever.

A lot of these things may be interpreted different by different individuals.

For years I was told by teachers and peers that I need to be more talkative, more assertive, more this and more that, less this, less that.

Now in my thirties, I just recent was able to accept me.

In previous relationships, I was told that I was weird, too closed off and stayed to myself too much. I was also told that I was needy. I was told that I was too skinny, too hairy and not pretty enough. Unfortunately, because I had all of the confidence knocked out of me by this bad relationship, I began to believe these untrue things about myself.

Another guy came along and told me that I was all that and that I was beautiful and wasn’t too skinny and that what I was asking for in a relationship wasn’t a lot or abnormal. For some reason I was looking for outward affirmation. But I needed to realize who I was and be happy with myself. Looking for approval with in your relationship or with another person is so unhealthy.

God made you unique! There is no one on this planet exactly like you.

Once I learned to accept me, I was able to say this is who I am. Love me or hit the road!

However, I had to realize it for myself. Sometimes it’s an on going battle because we all have our bad days when we get down on ourselves right?

It’s so important to learn to love yourself. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s so true.

If you don’t accept yourself first and who you are as a young lady. Be happy with you!

Take a moment between relationships, take a moment before you get into a relationship.

Don’t let anyone change you for the worse! You’re beautiful!

Until next time ladies, peace and love!

-Nicole Alicia