Disclaimer: This is not an advice column! I’m simply sharing my opinion and my experiences.
The main character of my debut novel “Drama University”, Melody is in an on again off again relationship with Xavier. She doesn’t know how to let go or even if she should let the relationship go. With all the other short lived relationships she’s been in, there have been some clear signs to let things go. But not so much with Xavier. They have history.
Much like my character Melody, I also have had relationships where I just didn’t want to let it go.
Often times there is this uncomfortable grey area. Nothing is defined and you’re feeling vulnerable about the situation. Maybe even insecure.
I get it!
With one particular relationship I was in a long time ago, there were several different periods and breaks we took. However, somehow we kept finding ourselves together again and again.
Ladies, he was handsome! He seemed to have everything I was looking for in a boyfriend, at first. He was very kind, polite and a total gentleman. As time went on though, things changed. The person I had met years before started changing.
Long story, short in the end, I ended up heart broken and resentful that I had been with this person so long. In the beginning after the break up, I was very bitter and angry. He made one last attempt to keep the line of communication open with me, but I shut it down once I found out he was talking to other girls.
Once I got over the anger I felt from the break-up, I was able to learn from what I had experienced.
So here it is…Here are Nicole Alicia’s signs of when it is time to let it go…
If he doesn’t share the same morals and values as you – Differences like this may be cute at first…at first. But, In the end if you aren’t on the same page as to where in life you are spiritually and morally, it won’t work. You can compromise all you want, but often it doesn’t matter.
If you find yourself trying to change him – If you’re trying to make him into something he’s not, good luck girlfriend! Typically how you are at 20, 21 is how you’re going to be…morally. Do not go into a relationship thinking you can “upgrade” him or mold him into what you want him to be. It rarely works! If it does, it’s liable to backfire on you big time.
If you’ve asked him not to do something that really bothers you, but he’s still doing it – typically this mean he doesn’t respect you. Enough said on this one!! Take it how you want. I’ve had both ways. It’s a total difference, when someone who says they love you makes an effort not to do something that you don’t like, versus someone you express you don’t like something and they say you can take a hike ’cause they ain’t changing…believe them if they say it!
Believe me, I know you’re saying it’s not that easy Nicole!
I never said, it was easy. I know things are never this cut and dry when it comes to relationships.
I could write a whole other post on how difficult it was for me to let go in some relationships. For me, the longer I was in a relationship, the longer it was going to take to get over it.
Recognize, some of the signs and then decide, is this really worth it? Trust, I wouldn’t be sharing if it wouldn’t benefit you in the long run!
What do you think? Have you been through this? Do you agree? Disagree?
Love and Peace, until next time…