By Nicole Alicia

It’s been almost 10 years since my diagnosis and it has been a wild, wild ride. Having health problems is often a never ending roller coaster, in which you oftentimes wish you could get off of. I have learned how to take sudden drops, dips and whiplash-like turns with much stamina and grace. Although I am still learning to manage and each day can be different. Sometimes the roller coaster changes directions and instead of going forward, you are now in reverse going 50 to 70 miles per hour.

I am currently two years and six months and seven days post Kidney Transplant. After the transplant, I had two more unexpected hospital stays. I hated every minute of it. Anyone who has stayed in the hospital more than a couple days knows, it sucks. It’s cold, hospital beds are soooo uncomfortable! Then soon as you get comfortable, you either have to go potty or the nurse is waking you up, or the Lab to draw blood. First hospital stay after transplant they said,  I wasn’t eating enough or drinking enough and was at that point becoming severely underweight (which I already was, but it became worse) due to nausea/vomiting and just down right feeling like crap. Any stretching of my abdomen, like getting full, hurt majorly.  I was in severe pain from my incision and staples, as well as a drain they placed that was coming out my right side.  

I was a complete mess. I had some sort of heart arrhythmia going on where I was short of breath when trying to walk or move around as well. For the first year or so, it seemed to be one thing after another thing, after another problem. Along with that I was on a crazy amount of medication, not only do you have to take meds to keep your new organ from rejecting, it seemed that every level that was high while on Dialysis was now opposite, low. So there were Pills on top or Pills. I was starting to really question at one point, whether I had made the right decision getting this new Kidney.

Fast forward about 4 months after the shortness of breath, heart palpitations, low blood pressure, etc and barely being able to make it to my kitchen to fix food for myself and my son. The months now of laying in bed and waiting, the much needed rest and recuperation, I was able to drive myself to appointments. Although my recovery was slow, things started to get better and better. 

Before this I had about 6 or small operations, but all outpatient stuff. I had always had a fairly quick recovery, at max probably somewhere around 4 weeks. This recovery process though was taking much longer and my brain wanted to do more than my body was allowing it to, which was becoming mad frustrating.

I was ready to continue on with life. A better life right?! A healthier life.

It was just not coming as fast as I wanted it to. Through holding on to my faith and praying everyday, I still had to struggle. I cried. I felt lonely at times, but I knew I had to continue fighting. It didn’t come easily. Being patient with yourself may come easy to some, but for me it was not. It still isn’t. It’s something honestly I have always struggled with.

However, by allowing myself to just do a little at a time, I began to feel some sense of accomplishment. That was a new feeling to me. I was used to doing a lot, even when I was on Dialysis. I was taking care of our two dogs, dishes, laundry for 3, dusting, mopping, gardening. I seemed to have burst of energy sometimes and could clean our 3 level house no problem. What I didn’t understand is that I had to adjust to my new organ, new medication, and that my body had to adjust as well. It just wasn’t the same after. There are many positives and negatives to organ transplant, I just think everyone’s body adjusts differently as I have discovered.

My transplant doctor had initially I believe given me a recovery time prior to transplant of six weeks. Which I find laughable now. It took me a while to learn how to be patient with myself, but understand not everyday may be the same. 

Still two and half years later I may get enough sleep, I may not. I may get enough exercise that day and I may not. It’s all about balance. Now balance, that is definitely a topic I’ll write about later. Until next time,  be good to yourself!

P.S. Special shout out to all the people who helped me during my Kidney Transplant! You know who you are 🙂 Also in this article I’d like to mention my husband, who is always patient with me, when I am not with myself and my son. My folks also have been and are always there too!