Mommy Struggles: Living Up To Our Mother’s Expectations

Mommy Struggles_ Living Up To Our Mother's Expectations

My house is a mess.

It seems that I clean up one room and the next gets messy. Then magically, while the house is getting dirty, a mountainous pile of laundry has appeared out of thin air.

It’s a never ending battle!

Yet, week after week, while still working on my shops Blu-83 Vintage and Dear Alice Company , I some how manage to tidy up and have a functional home.

Many times when my mom decides to come over, isn’t up to her standards? I get the “you just let dishes pile up like this?” or the infamous “why are all these clothes just piled up and not hung up?”

While washing dishes the other day, I began to contemplate as I was overwhelmed by the amount of dishes and mess in our kitchen. Do you ever stop to think, “How on earth did my mother do all this?”

giphy-downsized (2)

My mom was not a stay-at-home mom my entire childhood, but worked off and on outside the home. Our house was almost always clean. Everything had a place, clothes were folded and put away and our sink hardly ever over flowed with dishes.

Then I took it back one more step, my Grandma Alice, my mom’s mom…her house was never ever dirty (well until she had 4 grand-kids…my cousins messed it up for me LOL). My mom has always told me stories of how my grandma kept a clean home, cooked and worked as a nurse with 3 kids and without the conveniences of today. (I don’t know about y’all but my calendar on my phone is a lifesaver and pick-up grocery service too. I don’t think they had that in the 60’s)

They didn’t have a dishwasher, nor did my grandfather ever help out (because that was “women’s work” to him).

Sometimes I can’t help, but wonder am I doing this right? Could I be doing more? I know I strive to keep a clean home, but let’s be honest ladies….it’s down right exhausting sometimes!

Are there any mom’s out there who can relate?

 

Nicole Alicia sig

Advertisements

Why Non-Entrepreneurs Will Never Understand You

Why Non-Entreprenuers Will Never Understand What You Do

Back when I graduated in 2006, from College the term entrepreneur was something foreign to me.

As an elective I took this class on Entrepreneurship. I had been taught that you go to school, get a job and work doing something you may hate for the rest of your life (or whatever job paid well).

The thought of being an entrepreneur never really came into play as a “do-able” thing until I started dating my now husband. He was from a family of entrepreneurs, so it was just in him. His grandmother had her own salon, an uncle of his had a shoe shining business and my husband (boyfriend at the time) was a graphic artist and had a business.

The thought of actually doing something “you love” and getting paid for it was a fairly new concept for me and hard to grasp. I had always loved writing and wanted to go into Journalism or major in Creative Writing mid-way through College, but decided I was not about to change majors to be in school another 1 1/2 possibly.

My mindset was just totally different than it is today.

Those that I speak to usually about my vintage shops on Etsy or being a writer, usually have that far off mindset that I used to have. Or to them, it’s like that’s a nice hobby.

However, sadly it’s usually those closest to you who just won’t get it.

Even if you break it down to them, it’s still usually such a far-fetched, far out sounding thing for them. Some may even think you’ve lost your mind.

Although I have two shops, am working on a second novel (I self-published the first back in 2017) and blog I still get from family and friends. “Hey are you still doing that thing with old stuff?” or “Are you still doing you’re writing thing?”

I may have a handful of people who really get and support what I do. It used to bother me that some family and friends didn’t take me seriously, but now nearly 2 1/2 years into it with my vintage shops (Dear Alice Co. and Blu-83 Vintage) and after being a blogger for nearly 10 years now it doesn’t bother me as much.

Being an entrepreneur is truly a mindset.

Some people will get what it is you’re doing, some people won’t.

Yes it’s a struggle. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I have a College degree and could easily apply for jobs in the field I majored in.

But at the end of the day, If you love what you do and you’re happy….that’s really what life’s about isn’t it?

Nicole Alicia sig

 

Loosing Grandma’s House, Gaining Treasures

nicolealiciawrist.com (1)

 

The ladder part of 2018 really got to me for real on an emotional level.

I started loosing direction as far as what I was doing business wise and started trying to think too much.

I know some of you maybe wondering why I fell off the face of the earth and stopped blogging all of a sudden. Well, I’m about to explain, a little…

Running an online business or in my case, businesses is far from easy!

On top of  all the “life stuff”, I had going on, I had received my first discouraging remarks from a customer on one shop after nearly 2 years of only positive remarks. For me this was so hurtful. Not only as an entrepreneur, but as a woman I think I took it too personal.

Then in September, I received a call from my Uncle stating that my grandparents house was to be foreclosed on and we need to go get stuff out, before a certain date in mid-September. But, before I go forward, let me back up and give you the history.

In 2004, my grandmother started having trouble staying awake. She was tired all the time and went to the doctor finally. They determined she needed to have a stint put in her heart, which was supposedly a routine operation, but unfortunately she never recovered and passed away July 5th, 2005.

My grandfather had been still living in the same house, but in the earlier part of 2018, it was determined that he couldn’t take care of himself any longer and the house had a mold problem to which was a health hazard.

Dear Alice Company is a vintage home decor and collectibles business, which is named after my maternal Grandma, Alice Roberts. Largely because of her home and all of the cool things I’d find and pretty things stored in her China cabinet I became to be a true lover of old stuff (aka vintage).

20190228_211229

1970’s Daisy Chain Correlle Mug and Plate from Nicole Alicia’s personal collection

Going back to that house after my Grandma had passed was the worst!

I had spent so much time at my Grandma’s house as child. I practically grew up there. There was so much I was going to miss. From the swing set in the back yard to the upstairs room which I used to go and play video games.

Largely I felt that the house died, when my Grandma passed.

20190228_211308

Unique Glasses 2 of which were from my Grandmothers house, the other two I found at a thrift store!

Because of my Grandfathers health and mental condition, the house was not kept up and long story short was foreclosed on.

Thankfully, I was able to keep many of the treasures from her house, but many of them did get left behind sadly.

20190228_211439

My grandmother had a collection of cute little Salt & Pepper Shakers, this is just one pair I thought were cute approximately from the 50’s that may have been my Great- Grandma Reba’s

I’m still sad about the loss of what used be a beautiful home.

Now every time I pass it, I get a very reminiscent feeling of what was yesterday and I remember the great times I had at 4287 E. 62nd Street.

Nicole Alicia sig

 

 

 

Graduation Season: Decisions

Graduation Season_ Decisions

This comes around every year…

Well twice a year, if you graduate in December from College (like I did).

I have a little cousin who is about to graduate from College in May,  we’ve had several different discussions on post grad life. I thought I’d share with you what I shared with her about my experience and some things I wished I had done differently.

So here I am, a post grad 12 years out of the academic game with my undergraduate degree in Business Administration with an emphasis in Marketing.

When I graduated from College and while I was in College, I had a through or what I thought was a very solid plan. Marketing was interesting yes and so was Business (I originally started out in IT/Programming, but that’s another story in it’s self) had my mind set that I was going to graduate and BOOM get a job.

Well, it didn’t quite happen that way….

I had worked for a small credit union as a paid intern most of my College life on breaks and worked in the administrative office of the school district downtown in St. Joseph, MO in the city I attended College. I also worked on campus in various offices so I thought I had some pretty good administrative experience and tie that with the degree, I thought I was guaranteed employment.

Let me tell you I had been searching for a job since the September before I graduated December 16th, 2006 and didn’t end up finding a job until late January 2007.

Let me tell you the struggle was very, very REAL!

Moral of this story is not really about work. Well it is, but it isn’t.

It’s about going for you dream(s)! And I say dreams, because I feel like it’s okay to have more than one!

I know we here this a lot of time in graduation speeches, but IT IS REAL.

I was groomed that going to College and getting a degree, in a high paying field was what you did.

I didn’t really discover what I truly loved to do, until I was a Junior in College and it was a bit late to change majors because I would have added a year of schooling to my plan, which sadly at the time I didn’t have the patience nor the money to do.

I’m not preaching to go ALL in…

Please don’t do that, unless you have a backup plan to your backup plan, by any means! Or unless you have a good safety net (i.e. parents with deep pockets or you’re a trust fund baby).

You here these success stories about people who just decide to drop all that they are doing and jump off the cliff….not wise to do, but if you think you can by all means!

Graduation is often a step into the “Real World”….

Maybe you’ve been taking care of yourself since you graduated High School, I’m not sure what you’re circumstances are. But, if you don’t already have a job and you’re about to graduate this is a good time to really, really go for what you love.

Often in conversation with about to be grads or fresh grads I hear a common tone….”I am going to apply here and get a job and life is going to be GREAT!” (to which I snicker and try to hold my laughter in)

Money is great…I’m actually a big fan of it, it allows me to do a lot of different things. However, if you’re not happy at that corporate 9-5, the first few years will be tolerable and then you’ll become miserable.

Who likes to be miserable?

Hopefully, you’ve done some serious soul searching prior to your graduation date. Really I hope you started before you went into the degree program you chose, but it’s not too late if you haven’t. It’s hard, believe me I’ve been there.

Decisions, Decisions I know.

Just like I told my cousin…take from someone who had to learn the hard way!

Until next time….

Nicole Alicia sig

 

February Wrap-Up

February Wrap-Up

Hey!

So this month has been quite an eventful one news wise…

Personally, I’m exhausted trying to keep up with it all. I mean were already 3 months into 2018 and stuff just seems to be getting crazier and crazier out there doesn’t it.

Almost nothing makes sense anymore when I hear the news.

giphy-downsized (2)

But I digress…

On this last day of February 2018, I just wanted to check in with you my readers to see how things are going on your end.

How’s your year going so far?

Personally, I’ve been to two…count ’em…two funerals already (in the same month) and yep it’s only March so that was kind of depressing and zapped quite a bit of my energy.

On a more positive note, work is progressing on my second novel as I am currently at 14,000-ish words and counting. I’ve been distracted quite a bit, but I’m still struggling to stay at it.

giphy-downsized (3)

Well, I thought I’d just check in with you all to see what’s been happening on your end…let me know in the comments below how’s your 2018 so far.

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

Excerpt from My Upcoming Novella

Excerpt from My Upcoming Novella

 

Dear readers:

Here is an excerpt from a WIP that I have titled, “The Misadventures of Melody T.”. I haven’t decided on a definite date yet of when I will be releasing the Novella, so make sure you bookmark my site and follow me on either Twitter, Instagram or Facebook for updates!

P.S. “The Misadventures of Melody T.” will be sort of a prequel to my debut novel, “Drama University”.

10th grade had to be better. It just had to. In addition to my social awkwardness,  I’m about 5’7, which is slightly taller than the average 10th grade female. I hated that I had no, shape. Although skinny with all this unruly hair on my head, I tried to rock it my own way.

Mikey thinks I’m a lost cause. But what does he know? He’s always been a part of the “in” crew. He’s in all honors classes and have applied to all the top colleges he wants to attend.

Besides the fact that we have the same last name, you would never know he’s my brother. I’m a complete introvert, a nerd and frankly proud of it. I’ve never seen a good reason to run my mouth excessively, non-stop like say for example Jerica Jennings who was in my history class last year. She never, ever shuts up.  However, because of my quiet nature I started getting labeled as, “stuck up”. It’s like being the observant one is a curse.

“The quiet, light-skinned girl with glasses,” Shannon said. “Nobody really remembers your name. They just be like, who’s the skinny, light skin girl you always hang with? I’m always like that’s my girl Melody T! I thought you knew.”

Shannon had a comical way of telling stories sometimes. Like most best friends we shared a bunch of inside jokes that no one knew about but us. We connect on a level that’s different from everyone it seems. It’s always been that way though.

 

Just as I exited the front door, the bus came whizzing past the usual place it stopped. Just as the bus driver braked, a giant puff of lovely, black diesel exhaust spewed from the school bus flooding the air. Racing up the block, gripping both the straps of my backpack on my shoulder, just then I inhaled. Just as I went to hold my breath, it hit my throat making me choke and cough instantaneously. I hopped on the semi-empty bus taking the first empty seat I spot.

 

Shannon and I met up last night, so we could catch up and see what we were wearing tomorrow. She was riding with Bree, her older sister to school. I had no idea how she had closed that deal, because just like Mikey older siblings were not trying to have deal with us younger ones. “I whined to my mom, about how much I hated taking the bus. So she’s basically making her take me to and from school for now,” Shannon shrugged.

“Your Breanna really think she’s somebody special, I said rolling my eyes. “I know right. She ain’t nobody that’s why I’m not riding no school bus. Sorry, Mel you’re on your own this year.”

Breanna and Shannon were almost total opposites, sort of like Mikey and I. Bree was the fast talking, fighting, short skirt, titties out, I have a different boyfriend every week type. Shannon was pretty much laid back like me but was outspoken like her sister just a bit of a toned down version. Bree and I never got along. She was a bitch, who hated me from day one. I often wondered if she harbored some sort of resentment from when Mikey and her dated briefly and he broke it off with her. I just tried to steer clear of her, period.

 

Laying across the bed,I watched while Shannon pulled several items out of her closet with the tags on them. “Any word on how Mecca been doin’,” I sputtered. “Nope. I talked to her like a few weeks after school let out, before y’all left for that trip but nothing recently.”

“Yeah, all she said was they had to move out, so she was going to live at her grandma’s,” I said.

“Man what happened I wonder?,” Shannon turned around for a second and paused from what she was doing. I shrugged my shoulders. We were just happy she could still go to our school for the time being.

Upon exiting the bus, I walked up the stairs, through the metal framed, heavy plexi-glass doors and stopped. I paused and took a step to right, looking around and see if anyone I knew was around. My efforts to look fresh for the first day of school a last minute, half-assed attempt. I had on a brand new white Nike shirt with a big navy blue swish sign on the front and navy blue basketball shorts to match. I didn’t like my scrawny legs. Thank goodness my mom let me get contacts over the summer. I was finally able to ditch those goofy-looking pop bottle glasses, with the turtle shell frames I had been wearing since 7th grade. I wondered if anyone would even notice. Things felt different without them though. In a good or bad way, I wasn’t sure yet.

 

Rolling my eyes, I proceeded in. With two quick glances, I scanned the large crowd that was formed in the front hall. I didn’t spot Shannon and Mecca anywhere.Walking a bit further I started slowly down the hall, walking around a small group that gathered down the hallway by the gym. Everyone displayed such a look of excitement. That “new” glow. A familiar feeling I was remembering from years past.

It was a fashion show of sorts. The oohs at the cute guys was a familiar sound. Some had bulked up over the summer or something as simple as a new haircut and outfit benefited them greatly. Walking past the gym, the familiar sound of squeaking shoes, screeching against the freshly buffed wood floor blasted through the gym doors.

 

Making my way up the hall, I turned to go to the band room. There I found Shannon standing with Brooklyn and Vicki right by the entrance. Shannon, Brooklyn, Vicki and I all used to be really close friends. In middle school, something changed with Brooklyn and Vicki. They started hanging out with some girls in our class who didn’t really get along with Shannon’s outgoing personality and my awkward silence.

I slowly approached the trio reluctantly giving a soft, “Hey”.

 

“When did you get here?” Shannon pulled her hands out of her jean shorts, reaching in for a sisterly hug.

“Bus, just got here a little bit ago. It took me awhile to get through the crowds in the halls.”

Standing to my right, I could feel Brooklyn’s eyes scanning me, from head to toe. Attempting to pretend that I didn’t notice the annoying stare she gave when I was around.

“I had those shoes last year, remember.” Brooklyn stood pointing casually at my new white Nike’s. Shooting me a look, she swayed her head around to Vicki, who gave a soft chuckle. I looked down at my shoes and then at her.

“They cute though. Simple, but cute,” Vicki replied shaking her head in reassurance. I still didn’t know why Shannon even associated with them. I rolled my eyes and shook my head trying to flee the situation when Shannon intervened rather quickly, rolling her eyes too.

“Ooooh, okay, anyways guess who we just saw though this morning?,” Shannon grabbed my arm, pulling me toward her then putting her arm around my neck. I looked at her bug-eyed expression and shook my head, “Who?”

I figured she was talking about one of the guys she was crushing on last year. This dude we called “Rell” or her ex she went with most of 8th grade and part of Freshman year named Jay.

She reviewed my face once more, then started shaking her head at me.

“Uh, you’re no fun, but I’ll tell you anyway,” she took a deep dramatic breath and paused.

With hand gestures that read, surprise like a gift I was opening. She exclaimed, waving both hands simultaneously.

“Oh my god, Dominic Davidson!”

I was thinking in my head, she couldn’t have been more dramatic about it. I felt my brow raise all on it’s own .Shannon looked even more bug-eyed than usual, now raising both of her perfectly drawn on eyebrows at me. All I could manage to let out was a low, “Mmmmm”. Brooklyn and Vicki just looked at each other. I couldn’t really tell what that was about.

I paused for a moment and tried to play it cool, shaking my head slightly to agree with Shannon’s excitement.

“That’s cool.”

“He’s still cute, girl just taller”, Shannon shrugged. “You’ll probably see him around here today.”

“Yep, maybe,” I said. Just then Brooklyn and Vicki finally walked away and I felt like I could have a regular conversation with my best friend. “ So, what classes do you have after this semester? I know you told me, but I forgot already.”

Shannon dug into her fresh new purple backpack, then handed me a crumpled up piece of paper, I could barely read.  We had enrollment for school only two weeks before, but knowing her she got it and threw it in the backseat of Bree’s car and left it until this morning when she realized she needed it.

 

Let me know what you think down in the comments!!!

Nicole Alicia sig

Hopes & Dreams For 2018

Hopes & Dreams For 2018

This holiday, season was truly a blessed one. It was a bit hectic though. This was the first time in a few years that we bought gifts our immediate family. I think the deciding part, is mainly the most stressful part.

For me the end of the year also consisted of business planning for 2018 as far as my writing projects go and my vintage/handmade business Dear Alice Company.

This year was one of the happiest I’ve had since 2014 when my son was born.( But then 2014 was a challenging year as well! Learning to be a mother and recovering from sitting in the a bed for 3 1/2 months on bed rest was no cake walk).

What made 2017 great? (I shared it in my blog post, “What 2017 Taught Me“) 2018 though, I want to excel and take things to another level. I have been told that this means stepping out of your comfort zone. For me that makes me all antsy. To some it seems super exciting. For me the phrase, “stepping out of your comfort zone” spells fear and makes me say, “Aww, do I have to?”

But, to get to where I’m going, I see it’s going to be a bit of discomfort on the way!

This year, I’m planning to release a novella and start my YouTube channel that will be a supplement to this blog. To me it’s about trying something new. I had been contemplating this for awhile and had been given the idea by my Uncle and I was like yeah no. But like my favorite Basketball player, Russell Westbrook says, “Why Not?”

As a self-published author, entrepreneur, (not to mention mom and wife) I am the publicist, the janitor, the marketing team, the graphic designer and the copywriter all in one I become exhausted after going non-stop. So this year, I plan to exercise more self-care. Like taking at least a day a month to myself (which I found is necessary for your sanity as a woman).

Even though this year was good, I am aiming for it to be awesome in 2018!

No resolutions being made over here, just plans and goals!

What’s your plans for the new year?

Leave a comment below…

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

 

The Debut Novel From Nicole Alicia is HERE!

The Debut Novel From Nicole Alicia is HERE!

Wow!

So today is the day…

I finally get to let the entire whole world read my baby, that I’ve been working on for so long “Drama University”.

I already wrote a post on the backstory of how this novel came to be called “Drama University: The Backstory”.

Since today is the release day, I’d like to give you, my readers a little something to go along with the release…

Here’s the Spotify playlist that I put together of a few of my favorite songs from 2002-2006, which is the time-period the book is set in, so I hope that you enjoy the book and enjoy this playlist!

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/prettynikki02/playlist/0YlDhBgaoNMHsHcBLaPBf9

Until next time…

-Nicole Alicia