Category: self-love

The Realest Post I Ever Wrote

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Life has been a busy blur these last 8 months. My son started school last Fall, my Dad started having health issues in October leaving my parents heavily dependent on me for transportation needs. Negative comments on my shop pages almost prompted me to quit selling Vintage all together (which is something I love) and the list of negative things just goes on and on.

Through all of this, I still managed to enjoy life and stay productive though.

Honestly, writing had been on the back burner you guys. 2019 has been interesting, to say the least.

Not writing however, always hurts me. It’s been a refreshing outlet for me for so long.  When I don’t do it, t’s literally like holding my breath underwater. Either I come up for air or risk blacking out and drowning.

My husband actually reminded me last week that I had sent him a finished manuscript for a Novel that I completed way back in 2016. I had totally forgotten that I actually have finished manuscripts just waiting to be edited and published. Crazy right?

But you know when life gets hectic and messy mess, it can be stifling to ones creativity.

Being a writer is hard!

Sometimes the ideas don’t flow like water out of the faucet. Sometimes you don’t write everyday. Heck, in my case sometimes you don’t write for weeks!

Writing does require a certain amount of focus.

Focus is what I have severely lacked due to all this other stuff going on in life.

It’s time for me to stop holding my breath though. Nobody wants to feel like they’re drowning in life itself.

I am hoping with the Summer months coming up I can get back to it. With me not having to utilize every moment of my 6 hours that I usually have from the time I dropped off Jr. at school, to the time I picked him up to actually relax and get some writing in.

Are you guys excited about Summer? I am for other reasons as well. I’ll share some next post.

Until next time…

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Be Your Own Fan Club

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Believe In Yourself

When I started writing, for some odd reason I thought I would have this cheering section. Like really…

I assumed since I was blogging, automatically readers would come to my blog.

The biggest misconception in all of this, was that I would have the full support of at least friends and family.

This turned out to be the biggest lie of them all, that I told myself.

When you are an artist or a creator, or do things that are different from the norm, most of the time you’re not going to have support you think you’ll get.

Well, at least not in my experience.

I had so many people ask me the question, “You still doing that blog thing,” or my favorite “Hey, how are those book sales coming?”

But, when it came down to my first book being published some friends and family who said they would support me by either reading it or buy it, didn’t.

That’s why I decided along time ago as a writer and entrepreneur, in all the other endevours that I do, that I, myself have to cheer myself on.

If you wait for people to cheer you on, especially your own family and/or friends…hate to tell you, but you’ll be so disappointed.

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If no one takes you seriously about writing, opening a business or whatever…please take YOURSELF seriously.

I love my readers!

95% of you all I don’t know, but I thank YOU for your support and your continued feedback!

Have you ever relied on someone to cheer you on and they didn’t? What happened? Were you surprised? How did you feel?

Comment below…

Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig

Re-Energize Yourself, It’s Almost Spring

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I don’t know about you but I hate cold weather!

I don’t like it…

But, then again I don’t like any extreme temps! Too hot, too cold it’s just not my thing!

Spring is my favorite season. It’s when all the colors start coming back. Trees starts blooming pretty whites and purples, grass starts turning from brown to green and flowers start blooming!

Cold weather I just despise. It seems to zap my energy!

All those long, cold dreary days just don’t do me any good.

So here we are on this 5th day of March and the actual start of Spring is March 20th less than 15 days away.

Spring is a perfect time to get re-energized and pray that this cold weather moves out for warmer temps so here’s a few things I’ll be doing to get ready for Spring…

Pick a new Bible Reading Plan

I haven’t been doing good with reading my word and want to get back on track with reading God’s word daily.

Doing Something Different To My Hair

When the season changes, often I feel the need to do something different to my look. I love changing my hairstyle and although I have tried it before I’m going to try to go “natural” and not process my hair which will be a challenge all in it’s self. I haven’t had a relaxer since December ’17 sooo, all my sista’s that are already natural and have transitioned to being natural, you know prayers are needed 🙂

Finish Reading That Book I Started Reading, So I Can Start A New One

I’m on Goodreads and I have a reading list already for 2018, however I’ve been slacking so far. I’m on like the 100th page of Terry McMillan’s “Waiting To Exhale”. I have seen the movie zoozillion times, but wanted to read the book. It’s thick! I like it so far, but due to other writing duties I have assigned myself I have yet to keep pushing forward. However, my goal is to finish it this month. I want to start something new! (Yes, I try to finish one book before moving on to the next.)

Cleaning Up and Clearing Out

We all have heard of Spring cleaning. I do a little bit of this, but in a different way. My office right now is a complete wreck and needs a make over. I mean it’s such a mess, I’m embarrassed to show you (check my social media later I may share though). So giving one room in your house attention will definitely re-energize you. Whether it be buying new pillows for your sofa in your living room or organizing that horrible closet. I promise you you’ll feel better. (I say this as I’m grabbing a trash bag to clean out my office.)

Which leads me to my last one…

Shopping!!!

Who doesn’t like shopping, ladies! Season changes are the perfect excuse to go shopping! Now that you’ve cleaned up and cleared out that closet, put some new little tops and dresses in there to replace what you’ve cleared out. But, don’t go overboard :).

I hope in sharing some of the things I’ll be doing to get ready for Spring, I’ve inspired you…

What are some things you do to get ready for Spring? Are any of these on your list? Comment below!

Until next time…

 

Nicole Alicia sig

 

Grow From It

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It’s easy to get stuck in life.

Dating, work, parenting (if you’re there), relationships and on and on!

I’ve had some pretty crappy experiences in life.

I could have easily just threw in the towel and said forget it. From break ups, bad dating experiences, loss of friends, miscarriages, layoffs, crappy jobs.

So many bad experiences can really put a bad taste in your mouth. They can leave you bitter and just plain angry.

It’s been a rough road, but I’m still learning and growing and I’m in my 30’s.

When I say grow, I don’t mean just forget what happened and move on. I mean feel how you feel, go through the motions, be present and learn something from it.

In life we’re not supposed to ever stop growing and learning. Personal growth is a life long thing.

Most recently on Tuesday this week, rapper Gucci Mane got married. Everyone is talking about how he came out of prison looking great, made an album, got off probation and proposed to his long time girlfriend. Point of the story is that there was some type of growth that took place.

I can only speak for myself, but I know sometimes for me things that happen negative in your life seems like the end of the world. But it’s not.

When you end up getting hurt from a bad break up, instead of tattooing “I hate men” on yourself, try to reexamine.

I know most of us are like what?

It was all his fault I didn’t have anything to do with whoever. This is probably true! I agree. But what can you take away from the situation that you can use to better yourself next time? Sometimes it’s about analyzing ourselves first before pointing the finger at someone else.

Some once said, “If you know better, you do better”.

Once again it’s a practice. Not a destination, but a journey.

Until next time lovely ladies…

-Nicole Alicia

College & Stress

College & Stress

 

As an only child and the oldest cousin, I was the first to go to college. My mother stayed home and went to college and my father only went away to college for a short time. I didn’t really have anyone to give me any real advice on how to handle a lot of stuff.

So when things got difficult, I had trouble managing. I didn’t really know what exactly to do.

At one point there was just so much going on in my life. Classes were getting harder, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the fritz for like the umpteenth time. My grandmother, which I was very close to underwent heart surgery and didn’t ever recover. On top of that, things at home weren’t great either.

Plus, it was college and like I mentioned in my previous post, “College 101: Making It On Nothing” money was tight. I was a broke college student, who didn’t have much cash to work with and tuition, gas money, food, etc. was a constant worry.

To put it lightly, I was overwhelmed!

School is hard! There’s no argument there.

Be very careful with stress during these times. In college, there is a ton of easy access to drugs and alcohol. It may seem like a simple solution at the time. However, we know what adverse affect this can have on your body and your life. It’s dangerous!

Plus, it’s only a temporary fix.

I’m not sure about you, but when I’m overwhelmed all I want to do is find a way to relieve my stress. Back when I was in I was partying was my solution was drinking and smoking. Partying and drinking was a easy way to forget all of my problems. Was it the best solution? Absolutely not! (Disclaimer: Hangovers SUCK!!! Hugging a toilet and making your friends bathroom, your room for the night is NOT cute!)

Here are some alternative ways to handle college and stress:

Sometimes going home for a weekend to clear your head can help. Being around family, people who genuinely care about your well being.

Find somewhere to just go and chill and meditate. Quiet, is hard to find on a college campus. You may live in a noisy dorm or apartment where your roommate(s) are always there. Even sometimes the library can be noisy. If you can find sometime to yourself to gather your thoughts. Do it. Maybe even a local coffee shop in town? Because who doesn’t love coffee or a hot cup of cocoa in the cooler temps?

Pray. I realize everyone isn’t spiritual or religious. But, I sure wish I would have talked to God a lot more in college. I usually only talked to him when I was in trouble, to very frank. Prayer in many different religions is the center. If this is something you do, do more of it!

Keep a journal. Even in college, while I was super busy and really didn’t want to write by hand because I had been doing it all day in class taking notes…I used to keep a little journal. I still have it to this day. It really only has a few pages with a sentence or a small paragraph of writing of my feelings, but it was helpful. Even just jotting down something small as to how your feeling can be a way to blow off some steam. I believe journaling can be very therapeutic!

Talk to someone. If at all possible talk to someone outside of your circle. If you feel like you need help, it’s there. Don’t be ashamed! Many universities have counselors on campus, who are willing and waiting to listen and try to offer some solutions.

Lastly, I want you to remember that this thing with studying and all the other pressures of college are temporary! Try to focus on the big picture, which is graduating and getting that degree girl!!!

If you’re in college currently, away or at home. How do you manage stress?

Comment below!

Until next time ladies…

-Nicole Alicia

Be Happy With Yourself First

 

Be Happy With Yourself First

I am odd. I love reading books and writing. I’d rather sit at home and read, than go out most of the time. I enjoy being alone sometimes. I am socially awkward. I rarely speak in social settings, because I am in deep thought or analyzing a situation. I am very slim and that hasn’t changed and I’m almost certain it won’t ever.

A lot of these things may be interpreted different by different individuals.

For years I was told by teachers and peers that I need to be more talkative, more assertive, more this and more that, less this, less that.

Now in my thirties, I just recent was able to accept me.

In previous relationships, I was told that I was weird, too closed off and stayed to myself too much. I was also told that I was needy. I was told that I was too skinny, too hairy and not pretty enough. Unfortunately, because I had all of the confidence knocked out of me by this bad relationship, I began to believe these untrue things about myself.

Another guy came along and told me that I was all that and that I was beautiful and wasn’t too skinny and that what I was asking for in a relationship wasn’t a lot or abnormal. For some reason I was looking for outward affirmation. But I needed to realize who I was and be happy with myself. Looking for approval with in your relationship or with another person is so unhealthy.

God made you unique! There is no one on this planet exactly like you.

Once I learned to accept me, I was able to say this is who I am. Love me or hit the road!

However, I had to realize it for myself. Sometimes it’s an on going battle because we all have our bad days when we get down on ourselves right?

It’s so important to learn to love yourself. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s so true.

If you don’t accept yourself first and who you are as a young lady. Be happy with you!

Take a moment between relationships, take a moment before you get into a relationship.

Don’t let anyone change you for the worse! You’re beautiful!

Until next time ladies, peace and love!

-Nicole Alicia