I Gave Up On Love…More Than Once

I Gave Up On Love...More Than Once


In life we have choices…

I mean isn’t that somewhat the point of it all?

Some choices we make are good…others bad.

Sometimes, we end up regretting a choice do we?

Some of us ladies, have decided before to stay in a crappy relationship when you knew it wasn’t going anywhere. On the other hand we may have passed up a really good guy for this crappy relationship.

Sound familiar?

Love is a choice.

Can I say that I have been in that place I’ve just described before, but I’ve also been in a place that after a really bad relationship I didn’t think that I’d ever find anyone to love or love me.

Now that’s a pretty low place to be in.

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I’m not going to re-write my heartbreak stories, because I have already given you a taste of that on the posts I wrote “Heartbreak Sucks Pt.1 & Heartbreak Sucks Pt.2” last year…so check those out so you can get a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

I have a friend who hasn’t even really tried to play “The Game”, but has totally given up on love due to a couple of bad relationships. I mean completely given up at the age of 34. She said she was D-O-N-E.

I have had way more heartbreaks than her and even a few when I got married (I know you want more on this, but it’s a post for another day).

I have been in that exact frame of mind so many times before though.

I am not one of those women who believe that love (particularly, love from a significant other) is the answer to it all.

We all know that it isn’t.

But, even after having my heart broken repetitively, something won’t let me quit!

I just somehow am not one of those that has been broken to the point of ever giving up. Now give up on that person or particular relationship…YES…I’m not cray cray. I mean just give up on love…

No that’s not me!

I believe even if you have been broken to that point, there is a way to repair your heart. Yes, I will say though that time is often the answer and NOT another person.

But, I personally don’t believe in ever giving up on finding true love.

I once gave up…

But, it was when I was least thinking about finding someone, when I was least wanting some companionship that I found someone (well, actually he found me…read Married at 24 series for that story.)

Point being, I CHOSE…although very reluctantly to let go of all those insecurities, other crappy relationships, stigmas other guys had put on me about my weight and personality…

It’s scary to put yourself in a place of vulnerability, to place your heart as well is scary…believe me it is…

Does it take time if you’re not there right now…yes but honey

It’s possible.

Love, is possible.


Until next time…

Nicole Alicia sig


Heartbreak Pt. 2

Copy of Heartbreak Sucks Pt.1

Heartbreak happens!

It can end up making you bitter and resentful. Often times you feel like giving up.

I’ve been there!

Why love again? Why even put your heart out there if it’s going to keep getting stomped on, milly wopped, nae nae’d? (P.S.feel free to insert any other current dance move, LOL)

These were questions I asked myself over and over at one point.

I was super fed up of getting let down, disappointed, lied to and cheated on. I had decided that being on my own was fine. Indefinitely! I swore up and down I was going to become the dog version of the “Cat Lady” and live out my life by my lonesome at 21, 22 years old.

Lies, deceit and just two people who are going down two different paths can lead to some pretty painful break ups.

I’ve had my fair share of it all. Some of it I did carry around with me for awhile. The hurt and distrust that I had experienced in a pretty lengthy relationship I was in, seemed to linger.

It’s also a pretty hurtful thing when you had considered that person your friend above all things.

How do you deal you may ask?

Good question! This my friend, is a very difficult one. To tell the truth it’s different for everyone. For me it just took sometime.

It took me years to really truly get over my first love, the breakup and the hurt I had experienced. I blamed myself for a lot of it.

I’m not gonna lie. It left my heart heavily scarred!

You may deal with heartbreak differently than the next young woman.

Relationships are very fickle sometimes, often there are good times and bad. If there is one thing I learned from dating, it’s if the bad outweigh the good, it definitely time to bounce.

What has been your experience with heartbreak? Did it leave a lasting effect on you?

Comment below!

-Nicole Alicia




Heartbreak Sucks Pt. 1

Heartbreak Sucks Pt.1

Heartbreak is a hard one!

You can experience heartbreak when you loose someone you love, when some one you really like doesn’t really feel the same and in the case of a good relationship gone sour.

Just as young love is so fresh and new and clean and beautiful.

Heartbreak is the total opposite. It can be dirty, raw and down right ugly.

My main character Melody Thomas experiences some serious let downs and heartbreaks in my debut novel “Drama University” set to be released this fall.

Personally, I’ve experienced many different heartbreaks when it comes to dating and relationships. Bad news is, there’s no way of getting around it unfortunately when you’re out there dating though and even in relationships.

When I first had my heart broken by the first guy who I liked and he liked me back (I can’t really call him a boyfriend because back in middle school it was “we went together”). I was so confused. We went to school together and had a great time together this one summer. I mean I really liked this guy.  At the end of 8th grade he broke the news to me that his mom and him were moving and he would be going to a different school. He said he thought it would be best if we just be friends and break up.

So many emotions and thoughts were going through my little 12 year old head.

I thought he really liked me. Why breakup? Did I do something wrong?

 Even as I dated into my 20’s I had the same questions, LOL!

Experiencing your first heartbreak can be quite traumatic.

It can be sudden and most of the time you’re not even going to see it coming. You can try to prepare your heart and your mind for what may come and protect it best you can, but sometimes this is never enough.

As I said in my post last week Hey Young Love, sometimes young love can be the sweetest thing, but can end up turning sour so quickly.

The best way I found to deal with getting my heart break was to do a pity party. Have one, seriously! It’s okay! just don’t stay there. Grab that pint of ice cream, binge on Netflix, don’t come out the house for awhile. Most importantly take care of yourself!

But, after awhile sistah, you have to pick it up and keep moving! You’re way to gorgeous to let all that beauty go to waist moping around! Plus you’ve got things to do right!?

Do be careful about suffering multiple heartbreaks over and over, back to back. It can start to make you very numb.

I’ll stop here for now!

Come back Thursday for Heartbreak Suck Pt. 2 …

Until then, be good!

-Nicole Alicia