Mommy Struggles: Living Up To Our Mother’s Expectations

Mommy Struggles_ Living Up To Our Mother's Expectations

My house is a mess.

It seems that I clean up one room and the next gets messy. Then magically, while the house is getting dirty, a mountainous pile of laundry has appeared out of thin air.

It’s a never ending battle!

Yet, week after week, while still working on my shops Blu-83 Vintage and Dear Alice Company , I some how manage to tidy up and have a functional home.

Many times when my mom decides to come over, isn’t up to her standards? I get the “you just let dishes pile up like this?” or the infamous “why are all these clothes just piled up and not hung up?”

While washing dishes the other day, I began to contemplate as I was overwhelmed by the amount of dishes and mess in our kitchen. Do you ever stop to think, “How on earth did my mother do all this?”

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My mom was not a stay-at-home mom my entire childhood, but worked off and on outside the home. Our house was almost always clean. Everything had a place, clothes were folded and put away and our sink hardly ever over flowed with dishes.

Then I took it back one more step, my Grandma Alice, my mom’s mom…her house was never ever dirty (well until she had 4 grand-kids…my cousins messed it up for me LOL). My mom has always told me stories of how my grandma kept a clean home, cooked and worked as a nurse with 3 kids and without the conveniences of today. (I don’t know about y’all but my calendar on my phone is a lifesaver and pick-up grocery service too. I don’t think they had that in the 60’s)

They didn’t have a dishwasher, nor did my grandfather ever help out (because that was “women’s work” to him).

Sometimes I can’t help, but wonder am I doing this right? Could I be doing more? I know I strive to keep a clean home, but let’s be honest ladies….it’s down right exhausting sometimes!

Are there any mom’s out there who can relate?

 

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Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

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October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. More specifically recognized on October 15.

This is a subject I know all too well, unfortunately.

My husband and I have 5 angel babies, 4 miscarriages and one stillborn son.

Loss is a odd thing.

People will say all kinds of things that are supposed to be comforting, but most we’re more hurtful than anything.

Like the time I was asked if I was attending a baby shower for a friend of my husbands less than a month after we had loss our son Nicolas who was stillborn.

I am aware most just don’t know, what to say or are just unconscious of the things that may come out of their mouth at this time.

I still grieve for the babies we lost.

Although our first loss was almost 10 years ago and our most recent was a little of 2 years ago, everything seems so fresh.

Healing is different for everyone.

Earlier this Summer, I started writing a memoir about my journey to motherhood which has been a very interesting one.

I believe the more we share our stories, the more we may be able to help one another.

Until next time,

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When God Leads You Somewhere Else

When God Leads You Somewhere Else

I started off this year with this idea for my second fiction novel.

I had been setting goals and deadlines for myself, as all good writers do.

I plotted and tied.

Then I wrote.

Then researched.

I got to the end of the first four chapters and just couldn’t go any further.

Something just wasn’t working. Something was missing.

Seemed like the more I tried to tie things and figure out what the meaning of the story was an plot, the more I couldn’t.

I had another story on my heart for awhile, but didn’t really work on it. A story that is very near and dear to my heart.

The story of how I been came a mother after having miscarried more than 3 times and going through a very difficult pregnancy with my son who is now 4 years old.

I was hesitant because although the birth of my son was very emotional and I still cry about it. But it’s how God revealed things in this journey I feel I should share with other women.

Although it has taken roughly 8 months to listen and respond to what God has put on my heart, I am actually acting upon it now. (Stubborn, I know)

I only have a few pages written right now, but I hope to publish it next Spring.

Sometimes we have to shift gears I guess.

 

Until next time….

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Nervous Mama

Nervous Mama

Many of us are preparing for our children to go back to school. I think even some are back to school already.

Some of us have babies going to school for the first time…

That’s me!

My little guy will only be in pre-school this year, but he’s super-duper excited!

Me………I’m getting there.

I knew this time would eventually come, but it seems like it just came so fast!

Seems like only yesterday my son was a little baby, in the NICU, that we were trying feverishly to get to eat more than 3ml’s a feeding session, so he could come home with us.

At 3 months old, I did have to go back to work and it was painful! I had to leave my little preemie with people I barely knew at daycare.

I feel the same way again!

I know once we fall into a routine, it will get easier. Well, I’m hoping.

As I write this, I feel the tension in my neck think about all the things that could happen, while my baby boy is away at school. I do tend to let my mind wander too much, I am definitely guilty of that.

This was the ultimate goal though, right?

He will always need mama, but it’s time to let my little dude be away from me again even though it’s only for 6 or 7 hours or so.

He’s happy, so I guess I should be too!

I’m sure I’ll cry that first day after we drop him off.

Any other mom’s out there having the same feelings?

Let me know in the comments!

Until next time…

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The Up’s & Down’s Of Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

The Up's & Down's Of Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

 

First off let me say that my journey to motherhood was to say the least a rough one.

I will save the details for a later post but in short we had several losses (3 to be exact) before we had our son RJ. I went into labor with him at 34 weeks and 5 days after a 3 1/2 month stay in the hospital. So he is our miracle baby.

We had our son in 2014 and financially I wasn’t able to stay-at-home and really I was heart broken. I had to leave our 3 month old, tiny 6lb bundle of joy with people I barely knew.

Fast forward, to¬†October of 2015, I was laid off from a job I had worked at for 3 years. I thought this was going to be a company I’d work for, for the rest of my career.

The first week was an adjustment, to say the least.

I was in limbo whether to continue to stay-at-home or search for another job (we had no clue how it was going to work, but were willing to work together to make it work). After my husband and I came to the mutual agreement that I could be a stay-at-home mom I just took it from there.

Being a mother just in it’s self is a roller coaster ride!

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I prayed for this! I can’t say I’ve loved every moment of it because it’s rough some days.

When it’s cold out or when I’m inundated with work, sometimes we have to be in the house all day and that’s hard.

Often times, my husband can’t talk on the phone at work and all my friends are at work. So, conversation with my son maybe all I get until my husband gets off work. (He is interesting, bless his little heart…but sometimes I need a grown up to talk to)

Sometimes, your day runs perfectly smooth. You go to story time, do a little play date, get some clothes folded and put away…other day’s your house looks like a tornado ran through it and you just cleaned up yesterday!

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Although I do admit to taking breaks in bathroom, just to get a moment to myself, it’s all been worth it!

I’ve been at home with my son since he was around 18 months old. Now, I know this isn’t for everyone, believe me. One of my friends only stayed at home for about 9 months after giving birth and said she nearly went crazy staying at home.

It takes patience and organization, oh and naps, YES, you gotta have those some days.

So, here I am nearly 3 years later, one novel published, an awesome blog following, working on my second fiction novel, with two businesses of my own and living life to the fullest with my husband and 4-year old.

Until next time…

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